Published in the Huntington News on March 15, 2012.
“Why did he pick her?”
Every girl has said it at one point or another, even if it was about the dog sleeping in her sister’s bed one night when she needed him more.
On Monday, everyone on my Twitter timeline’s jaw dropped as “The Bachelor’s” Ben Flajnik chose the girl viewers refer to bitterly as “in-it-to-win-it,” the one “that all of Americans love to hate” – Courtney Roberston.
Throughout the season, she didn’t play nice with the other fiancee hopefuls, who claimed she tricked Ben into falling in love with her.
She “won” his heart on TV – kind of like an arranged marriage, just not orchestrated by parents, but by ABC.
She was the one who went above and beyond to get Ben’s attention, sneaking away from the group to find him for extra alone time rather than bonding with housemates. She touted roses she received one-on-one, instead of at the end of episode during the rose ceremony, throughout the house. A clip of her saying, “I got the rose!” went viral on the Internet at one point during the season.
My question is, is there love to be found on TV romances? The same type of question can be asked of American Idol. Is there stardom left to be discovered? These shows aren’t about love or talent, but about becoming socialites.
Ben’s breath was taken away as Courtney walked up to him on a green grass plateau overlooking the Swiss Alps’ Matterhorn, but Courtney had plenty to spare. She didn’t cry. Instead, she giggled through his profession of love for her. She didn’t hold her hand three inches from her face to see the ring before declaring how much she loved it.
It wasn’t a true fairytale.
Yes, it was in the Alps, but that’s about the only part of the fantasy the show nailed. No tears, no loss of words – she even had to take off elbow-length black gloves before he could put the ring on her finger. Overall, too much hugging and not enough minor freak-outs.
Even breaking up with other hopeful Lindzi didn’t seem real. She walked in and re-professed her loved in a whirlwind speech. My roommate and I both yelled, “Stop talking” in hopes of hearing Ben propose.
Except he did the opposite. He “broke” her heart. She said, “Call me.” He told her he loved her, even though she wasn’t “the one.” She didn’t shed a tear until she got back into the helicopter, at which point even the rotors weren’t ferocious enough to smear her makeup. If it was me, the waterworks would have been enough to keep him from proposing to Courtney.
It seemed 100 percent fake.
But, what did I expect? The show is about finding love on TV.
Why do people think they can find love or lasting success on TV in front of millions of viewers every week? Even if it wasn’t recorded for our viewing pleasure, imagine living and traveling with 10 girls and fighting for one guy that you might get to spend perhaps an hour, a week or a day alone with.
Crushes would develop instantly, not out of lust, but from the same “in-it-to-win-it” mentality Courtney had. How is that real?
As college students, we know what’s up. We rely on shameless text message flirting, awkward first and second dates, and meeting the best friends long before the family or people from our significant others’ home. Why do these shows skew reality, and make TV romances from scripted favorites seem like the real deal?
Just minutes after the proposal, the “After the Final Rose” special started with host Chris Harrison, reminding us we just saw what America didn’t want: Ben slipping a ring on Courtney’s finger.
Viewers were glad to learn they’d broken up since the show ended, but bummed again when it turned out that hadn’t lasted either – apparently they still love each other. In fact, Chris handed Ben the ring and asked what he was going to do. Ben answered by quickly putting it back on Courtney’s left hand.
Will that last when the cameras stop rolling? The tabloids will play checks and balances for us, but they originally broke up because Ben saw Courtney’s conniving behavior on the show. Does he really want that kind of person standing on the pee-wee soccer sidelines or in a third grade classroom upset when another mother makes better cupcakes?
Ben, hear me out. This was your second chance at love and I don’t think you found it. (Bachelorette Ashley Hebert left him on his knee last summer.) When it fails, it might be time to try Match.com or Our House East.
Maybe I’m a cynic or incredibly old school, but TV just isn’t the place to find love. But if people actually realized this, we’d have two hours on Monday nights to spend on homework, which we wouldn’t want either.